THE DAY I CRASHED INTO THE ATLANTIC!
By Bar. Kenneth Ikonne
I had moved every movable thing I had acquired since arriving Lagos six years earlier onto that craft: four cars, buses, household effects, law books, clothing, furniture, electronics, office equipment, name it. I had suddenly developed an inexplicable disdain for living in Lagos, and I just wanted to leave and return to the East!
I was travelling alone, and I was in aviation gear – ready for the journey. The craft was one of the six Toyota Hiace buses that formed the nucleus of Tirol Express, a transport company I had incorporated just three years earlier, after fortune smiled on me, a little after two years of my settling in Lagos. Now, one of those buses had mysteriously transformed to a flying saucer, complete with blades and rotors! And it was into this strange flying machine that I had just herded all my earthly possessions!
I took off smoothly from the large strip of space in my compound in Surulere, and gained height rapidly. Five minutes later, directly beneath me, lay the vast and majestic Atlantic, off the coast of Lagos. Airplanes taking off from Ikeja, and heading for Enugu, would first lift off straight, gain altitude over the Atlantic, before executing an eastward turn. It was the same manoeuvre that I was now about to execute, before my cruise to the land of the rising Sun.
I engaged the clutch, in a bid to return to gear three, preparatory to executing the eastward turn. Just then, a ferocious gust of wind rocked the craft, and it immediately flipped and spun wildly out of control. I began to yell as the craft headed for the waters below. I passed out as the craft violently hit the roaring waves and began to sink rapidly!
I woke up to a kingdom of imponderable magnificence. Keeping watch over me was a bevy of very fair beauties, all of them in skimpy skirts and garlanded with golden beads which they wore over orange blouses. Each one of them carried a golden spear, and never smiled. Immediately I opened my eyes in wonderment, their commander ordered me to follow her. I was led into a vast and brilliantly illuminated golden hall, in the middle of which was situated a throne of Safire. The occupant of the throne sat on a swivel chair with her back to me. From the contours of her back, and the long luxuriant hair reaching down to the nape of her waist, I could tell she was female. There was a golden crown on her head. And guarding her was another all female cast of warriors, each of them looking stern and solemn. Each carried a golden spear. Strangely, what I felt was awe, not fear!
“On your knees, Kenneth”, came the order as we approached the circle just before the throne. “You cannot face her majesty on your feet.” I refused to comply, and a struggle ensued immediately, with the female commander kicking the back of my knees to force me to bend them. I attempted to punch her bulbous breasts, but an inscrutable force restrained my right hand, rendering it effete.
“Hahahahahahahahaha”, the shrill laughter came forth from the direction of the throne, with a melody that was soothing and musical. “Leave him, let him be. He has always been like this – very stubborn.” The queen had turned and was facing me now. There was a strange glow in her eyes, as if the eyes were of diamond. She had a ruddy complexion, and was of incredible beauty. She was smiling. After the initial glance at her, I bent my face away from hers, preferring to peer at the floor.
The queen began to address the female commander: “I hope you girls were able to recover all his properties?” “Yes, queen Erica”, came the reply. “Good”, said queen Erica. “Release the stubborn man, and let him go. But don’t release any of those properties to him until after six years!”
I quickly lifted my face to look at Queen Erica, to apologise, and to beg for the immediate release of my properties. But she had risen from her throne, and was exiting from the door behind the throne, followed by her Amazons, and the lights suddenly went out!
I woke up suddenly from the nightmare in my apartment in Surulere, drenched in sweat and deeply troubled! In the years following that dream, every property that was herded into that crashed flying saucer, and seized by Queen Erica, was either inexplicably lost, destroyed or sold at a loss by me.
Then followed a period of bewildering want and ill luck, forcing me to leave Lagos eventually. That bad spell did not abate until exactly after six years, when recovery and munificence gradually returned to my life!