1st APRIL 2021, My mom to the rescue
By Darlington Ahuruonye
This morning, Barr. Okpanku called me and said “Nwanne, your nude pictures are everywhere, what’s happening?”
I never took him seriously at first until he instructed I should visit a particular blog for confirmation. In a bid to satisfy my curiosity, I quickly grabbed my big phone. As I was trying to login to the site, another call came in, this time my friend Dontorch.
Enyi how could you be this careless? Why getting yourself involved in this kind of scandal? He querried with rave. This question further sunk my heart and I became very nervous and inquisitive. He went on to express his level of disappointment with me.
At this point, my heart was buried in my belly even as my feet couldn’t carry me. He ended up saying that my third leg was visibly conspicuous while narrating how Facebook ladies were busy zooming out the nude images which has gone viral. He further read out a lady’s comment wishing she had a man with such wonderful material.
Imagine Son of man wey never talk to any daughter of Eve since last year, not to talk of visiting any garden. who is behind this? What does he tend to achieve? How real can this much taunted Photoshop appear. All these ran through my mind as I was busy trying to assess the blog as prescribed by the erstwhile deputy council boss.
I received the third call, this time from my mom. I was expectant of a crying voice of that caring woman who can’t stand my state of depression. Dede how are you, don’t fail to join us in our usual monthly family prayer, remember today is 1st April, she said. As I responded in affirmative, I promised to return her call later while I hurriedly ended the phone conversation. Her last sentence re-echoed in my subconscious. “Remember today is 1st April”. I quickly recalled our childhood with great nostalgia. How we played pranks on people and laughed uncontrollably at their foolishness. I had a great sigh of relief. What a fool I have been to be fooled by those I should have earlier fooled today.
I thought of the next victim that must fall under my own pranks.